It’s Been A While …..

lone bench

I’ve been away for quite a while, haven’t I?  Each time I step back in here, I feel so apologetic ….. as if I’ve abandoned you, dear blog.  Sometimes I wonder if I should close down this space but then this is from where I started.  I used to have so much to tell you, didn’t I?  But my thoughts have been centered so much on something else that I didn’t realize how long I’ve not been back.
It has been such a busy year at work as mentioned in an earlier post and my tasks had felt endless.  I was really tired then but things still needed to be done somehow.  I had so longed for a break which I couldn’t afford to take.  But finally with the end in sight, I began to feel much lighter in mind and at heart.  What spoiled it for me though was that the end result of that project didn’t turn out as good as I would have liked it to be.  But since nothing further could be done to change it anyway, I had to just let it be.
I suppose all that ‘stress’ must have been accumulating without me being aware of it.  I’m usually quite patient but I just blew up at a colleague a couple of days ago.  I’m not sure how I must have appeared, all red faced during that outburst ….. wish I could have recorded myself and see how I look like when I’m furious.  I could still recall how angry I felt and those words just tumbled out.  Perhaps I just needed to get that out of my system. 
With just a month left to this year, I had to clear all my leave balance from the previous year.  I know I could have just taken off for a vacation somewhere but as I had been on a trip recently as well as with some big items purchases, I cannot afford another trip so soon.  So what did I do to de-stress? ……. spring cleaning.  
I do usually enjoy cleaning out stuff but as I looked around the house, I didn’t know where to begin.  I know ….. I’ll focus on one place at a time, starting with my room.  Perhaps I did not focus enough and got distracted with other stuff because I am still clearing stuff in that same room after a week.  At this pace, I will not finish with my spring cleaning even when the year comes to an end.  Think I will have to switch off my PC if I really want to focus.  
The year is fast coming to an end.  Is there anything I have learned or wish to give thanks for?
For a start, I will not again accumulate my leave but take a break more often.  The mind and soul needs to be re-charged occasionally.  Work will never get done and I need to be kinder to myself.  I should try to focus on what I set out to do and not get distracted.  On the other hand, I should not focus so much on one single thing that I forget that there is much more to life than just one person.  
I am thankful for good friends I’ve met along the way, and even for those who might have made me felt a little down, I know they are meant as lessons to be learned.  I am glad that I’ve gained more knowledge in another language and even though I’m still struggling with it somehow, I can understand much more now than when I first began.  Though there are no major exciting events and life is moving along as it does for this year, I am thankful that there were no heartbreaking events and life so far has been good.  And my new year resolution …… to lose some weight.
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